Getting better (I hope), and Happy Birthday, Sean!

So, my baby boy is FOUR today.  How on EARTH did that happen? Didn't I JUST have him?

How cute is he? Seriously.  Okay, so I'm biased.  But, I am just dying of cute exposure looking at that smile.  He's modeling his tap shirt here.  We've had it for probably two months, but hadn't tried it on yet.  Oops.  Thankfully it fits fine.

Here are a couple of Sarah in her costumes.  She grew enough at the clinic that I was worried they'd be too small.  Thankfully they still fit fine.

Ballet

Tap

Cute, isn't she?  Oh, and you can't see in the pic, but she's got black capris to go with the tap costume.  I LOVE it, but can't decide if her individual photo should be in the ballet or tap costume.  If you have an opinion either way, feel free to comment.

Anyway, so things have gotten better since Sunday night.  I hope they stay this way.

Monday morning, I went easy on breakfast since we had to take Sean to school.  I didn't have the time or the energy to have a full-fledged battle at breakfast.  She had oatmeal, yogurt (I think), and applesauce.  Something easy like that.  I know that's taking the wimpy way out, but a mom needs her sanity.

After we dropped Sean off, we headed to a nearby mall and found out they didn't have an Easter Bunny (what?).  They had a post office, so we went to mail a package to find they were having computer problems and couldn't do anything.  Total waste of our time, but Sarah was super patient.  She got a lot of praise for being so calm and patient for me.  Anyway, then we headed to a different mall and went to go see the Easter Bunny there.  She loved him and they were really patient with her to try and get a good picture.  They got a decent one.  It was cute.  It's funny, Sean is terrified of the Easter Bunny and Santa, and Sarah loves them both.  Who knew?  After that, she wanted milk so we headed to Starbuck's.  I made the mistake of getting her one of those Horizon juice-box like milks.  Starbuck's didn't have them in plain, so I got her vanilla.  She hated it. :(  She was a good sport and tried a few sips, but I can't blame her if she didn't like it.  I'll remember next time and just ask them to put plain milk in a cup for her.  We headed to the library to pick up a held book for me and let her check out a book, and then it was time to pick up Sean.  It was really nice spending time with Sarah.  She was such a good little buddy and I know she enjoyed it too.  That was one thing I really enjoyed about the clinic.  I loved the one-on-one time with Sarah.  I just don't get much of that otherwise.  Anyway, Sean was super excited to see both of us and we both got a hug.

Sarah with the Easter Bunny

We grabbed lunch at home after the clinic.  I gave her strawberries and ran them through the food processor first.  They were probably a notch down from fork-mashed, but I was worried about fighting her by myself.  I think she had ravioli or some other Chef Boyardee and pears too.  She did fine with all of it.

For dinner, it was just my sister-in-law and me at home since I had to be somewhere with Rob and he wasn't going to be home in time to do a full meal with Sarah with me.  I braved lasagna with her, but took the time to run it through the food processor to get the noodles small enough.  I think she had peas and strawberries as well.  I noticed the lasagna had dried out a lot.  I added water too.  The lasagna was probably somewhere between fork-mashed and the texture below it, but I wanted to give her a good chance to redeem herself.  I set up the video camera to try and capture the meal so if she did act ridiculous, we'd have it on video.  Also, we could get video of her not chewing.  She was very leery of the lasagna when she saw it, but she ate it.  I was very proud of her.  

Yesterday she did well with all of her meals, including one eaten at a restaurant.  It was still one that I brought myself, but it was eaten without an issue.  We did lasagna again last night, and she did fine again.

This morning we did a meal at the clinic.  Her therapist saw how she isn't chewing her food most of the time, and she gave me some suggestions to hopefully set Sarah straight and help her out.  She saw a few of the other issues we are having, and helped me with that.  She also showed me a bit more with food prep, so that was nice too.

Tonight we have dance class and we're bringing cupcakes for Sean's birthday.  Woo-hoo! We'll probably have cupcakes at home too and sing to him since his party isn't for another week and a half.

Another update

And more of a roller coaster for us.

First, an update on the bus situation.  Thursday morning, I had Sarah outside for the bus early.  Her bus attendant apologized for Wednesday and said she had in her head that Sarah wasn't riding the bus.  That more or less tells me they didn't even show up.  ARGH!  I know her schedule can be complicated, but geez! Besides, she hasn't had any appointments keeping her from riding the bus since we came back from the feeding clinic.

Anyway, as usual, meals are up and down for us.  Every time I think she's doing better and giving up the fight, I get blindsided by a horrible meal and feel like we've gone back several steps.  So frustrating!

So, Friday, I think it was, I tried grits with her for breakfast.  Just a five-bite session that we do for "new foods."  This wasn't really even new, exactly.  She ate grits fine at the clinic, but hadn't really had them in a meal yet, I don't think.  Well, they are apparently now disgusting.  I actually don't like grits anyway, but I was very frustrated with her because she ate them so well at the clinic.  I honestly wasn't predicting a problem.  I was just glad the time cap on the new food session isn't too long because we hit it.  She ate the rest of her breakfast fine.  I don't remember what the heck it was, though, other than her usual oatmeal.

That night was better.  I fork-mashed some peas and put butter on them.  She gobbled them right up for her five-bite session.  She didn't even give them a funny look or anything.  I was so proud of her!

Saturday was her last hockey practice of the season, and it was Daddy's turn to take her.  She did okay, but she is so set on using the walker for skating.  It's easier and she can go faster, but we want her to learn to skate without it.  We are hoping that we can get back to skating on our feet (I can sort of skate on my own, but I've only been ice skating maybe five times in my life) and take her some times this summer to public sessions and see if we can help her a little.  If she can skate independently and hold a hockey stick, the coach will probably move her to another practice session, giving us an extra hour of sleep.

Anyway, for lunch that day, I did a five-bite session of mixed vegetables.  Again, they were fork-mashed with butter.  She refused the first bite, but took a tiny taste (can't remember if it was willingly).  She decided she liked them and finished the bite.  The remaining bites were taken willingly and she did great.  I put peas in her regular meal, and she did very well with them.  She had one problem where she couldn't get herself a small enough bite and needed me to help her, but she was fine once I fixed that problem.

At dinner, her five-bite session was a chicken nugget that was fork-mashed.  She'd had one once at the clinic for a five-bite there and did fine, but at home she refused to try it.  I was annoyed, but not majorly.  I might try one from McDonald's or find out what brand they used or if they did something special.  I don't know.  I put mixed vegetables in her dinner and she needed a bit of prompting and had some minor refusals, but overall did fine.

Today she seemed really interested in the pancakes her aunt was making everyone for breakfast.  I gave her a little bit of mine and fork-mashed them, but she didn't try them.  I didn't press the issue since we weren't doing the protocol.  I didn't try any new foods on her for breakfast other than that.

At lunch, her new food was lasagna.  That's tough to fork mash, so I used a fork and knife and cut it as small as I could.  She devoured her five bites.  Her lunch itself went fine too.

At dinner, her dad chopped up some strawberries and I fork-mashed them into very small pieces.  She was a little hesitant about the first bite, but otherwise ate her five bites just fine.  Her regular meal was a DISASTER, though.  I think it may have been one of her worst meals since being home.  If not, it's up there.  I gave her lasagna, since she'd gobbled it up at lunch, pudding, and carrots.  She ate the pudding fine (of course), the carrots, and a few bites of the lasagna before throwing a hissyfit of epic proportions.  There was kicking, screaming, growling, crying, hitting, swatting at the spoon, spitting, pushing food off the spoon with her tongue, screams of "no", shrieks, and probably some other awful behaviors I'm forgetting.  I apologize to the entire East Coast because I think they all probably heard it.  It took all three adults living in the house to block her. Needless to say, we hit time cap, and I was practically in tears myself by the end of the meal.  I think part of the problem is she didn't chew the lasagna really well like she did in her five-bite session at lunch.  She tried to swallow a bite whole, had trouble doing so, and decided to heck with eating the rest of the lasagna.

Unfortunately, we are overall seeing a decrease in chewing during her regular meal sessions.  I have to remind her frequently, and even then she doesn't always do it.  It frustrates me to no end.  I have noticed that she seems to be chewing her bites when I do her five-bite sessions.  I'm not sure if there is a specific reason for that or not.  I sent her therapist a long e-mail (that poor woman is so patient with me) and let her know what happened and what I've noticed.  The lack of chewing is really concerning to me, and I think it's causing some of the other behavior.  I'm sure she would have been fine with the lasagna had she just chewed it properly each time.  She wouldn't have had the discomfort/difficulty swallowing the lasagna, and things would have been much nicer.

We are going to the clinic on Wednesday to do a meal.  It's not her regular clinic follow-up.  I'm hoping that she will do what she's been doing at home.  I think in the meantime we are going to try to videotape some of her meals.  If we can get either a horrible one where she acts ridiculous on video or at least one where she's obviously not chewing her food, then we'll be burning it to DVD and giving a copy to her therapists so they can see what we're talking about.

On a brighter note, it's Autism Awareness Month!  We lit our porch light in blue and will keep it blue all month in support of our little lady and her other buddies who are also autistic (okay, and everyone who's autistic).

The other cool thing is one of my favorite bloggers, Stark Raving Mad Mommy, made an awesome video featuring pictures of autistic kids. Two out of her four kids are on the spectrum, and she said she regularly hears people say s/he doesn't "look" autistic.  So, she made a video to show what autism really looks like. She requested pictures of kids on the spectrum a week or two ago, and I sent in three pics of Sarah because I couldn't decide.  She picked a cute one.  Sarah is at 0:43, with Elmo, of course!

Slacker update

So, here I am, out of the clinic and getting lazy with updates. I have to say part of the reason is that we are just kind of living life and going about our business.  The other part is Sean has a birthday coming up and we've been a little preoccupied with figuring out his presents and other party planning stuff.  I talked him out of Wonder Pets because, well, they're annoying, and the decorations have been discontinued, making it a royal pain to find them, even online.  I made his other two favorite shows that aren't Go, Diego, Go sound really cool, and he chose Sid the Science Kid.  I've decided I'm adopting that cartoon character as my third child.  He's a perfect angel, smart as a whip, and invented the "I love my mom, my mom is cool" son both my kids occasionally sing while I drive them to school.  Although, I have to say, I'm going to have to do something about the freaky purple Play-Doh hair he has going.

Anyway, so, meals have been going well overall.  We even gave the protocol a spin at a restaurant.  We took Rob's grandmother out to lunch on Sunday, and I brought Sarah's meal and all of her stuff with us.  I picked food she's usually more compliant eating in hopes of avoiding a public meltdown.  Sarah did great and her great grandmother was really pleased to see how well she's eating.  Then, the little booger wanted the cucumbers out of my salad.  I was so tickled that she was asking for regular food, I obliged.  That one still shocks me.  Sarah eating diced cucumbers.  Who knew?

We tried introducing macaroni and cheese last night.  I know I had said no to it at the clinic because we don't eat it at home, but it's so frequently offered at restaurants, it would have actually been a good thing to get her to eat.  Well, Sarah didn't like it.  We did our five-bite session and she barely got the first bite down.  The second bite was refused, and the time cap was hit.  I was okay with it and would be fine with giving up on mac and cheese, but Rob wants me to try again.  I suppose another trial won't hurt, but I have a feeling we aren't going to win this.  Honestly, it's okay with me.  I didn't ask for a kid who eats every single food on the planet when we walked out of the clinic.  I just wanted her to go up in textures and she did.

Anyway, she switched gears fine for the regular meal, so I was happy with that.  I do hope we can get some more main courses in her soon.  Right now it's either beef stew or some variety of Chef Boyardee.  Not awful, mind you, but it's kind of BORING.  I am going to try the frozen lasagna I recently bought on her the next time there's another adult in the house to help me.  She loved lasagna at the clinic, but I don't know what kind they bought.  I imagine they are a bit different across brands.

Like I said, meals are going well overall.  We do have the occasional negative behavior.  It's not that often, but usually I can figure out why.  She threw sweet potatoes the other day because she wanted pizza.  After her meal, I let her try a little and she refused.  Since we weren't doing a real meal when the pizza was offered, I let it slide.  A lot of times, she still needs prompting to take her bites because she's so into her video, she isn't focused on her meal.  Usually a prompt will do it and all is well.  Occasionally she gags on food, but it's usually from taking too big a bite and/or forgetting to move the food around in her mouth and chew it.

Today is apparently Crappy Bus Day for us.  This morning, the bus didn't come.  Or, if it did, it arrived early, waited 30 seconds at best, and then left without Sarah.  I was SO mad.  The bus always picks Sarah up at our house because she's special needs.  We were outside our house waiting from about 2-3 minutes before it's scheduled pickup time until 20 minutes after before I gave up and drove her.  Mind you, it was also a school day for Sean.  Sarah's school is on the way to Sean's, but it's not as easy as dropping her at the front door.  I have to park and walk her up because the carpool line is AWFUL.  Anyway, so I did all that, and managed to only get Sean to school a few minutes late.  Still, not really how I'd planned my morning.  I complained to the teacher and found out she'd had a substitute bus driver and will have a sub tomorrow as well.  Transportation is to tell the sub NOT to leave without Sarah tomorrow.  I think we'll be out a little early tomorrow, just to be safe.  I still can't believe they did that!  Then, she was dropped off 20 minutes late today.  UGH.

At least tonight I have absolutely no reason to even attempt to cook dinner.  Okay, anyone who knows me is well aware I don't really cook much anymore anyway, but I will admit to at least occasionally feeling guilty about it.  But, tonight, Rob is out with his boss for a meeting thing (long story, don't ask), and it's a fundraiser for Sarah's school at a pizza joint.  You can sit down and eat, but I don't think I'm risking my kids' behavior. I think we'll be carrying out.  Besides, I'm not interested in bringing all of her stuff and doing her protocol at a restaurant when I'm the only adult.  It was fine for Grandma's birthday lunch because the adults outnumbered the kids.

The roller coaster continues....

Ugh.  I cannot figure out what Sarah is going to do at any freaking meal.  Drives me nuts!!!

So, Wednesday I can't remember anything special about breakfast, so it must have been fine.  I fed her dinner on protocol at the rec center while her brother had dance class and she was waiting for hers.  I was very nervous to do this as we have yet to take the protocol "on the road" and I was by myself.  None of the other parents at the rec center know the protocol, and it's not like you can just ask somebody to hold your kids' hands down as they're trying to swat the bites of food away.  So, I packed food she'll usually eat without argument and hoped we would survive the meal.  I'm pleased to say it went fine.  She had some Chef Boyardee thing (spaghetti and meatballs or ravioli, I forget which), peaches, and pears.  She was fine for all of it and I don't think I dealt with any negative behavior.  Thank heaven!  I was really not in the mood to wrestle her or have any sort of other issue at the rec.  I'm not positive I'll have the guts to do it every week, but I'm glad this one wasn't a disaster.

Thursday was another story.  For breakfast, she was more or less okay.  I changed flavors for oatmeal.  She didn't get a new one, but she got one she likes less than what she normally eats.  She dawdled a bit and needed extra prompts, but she was fine otherwise.  I forget exactly what else she had.  Apricots and maybe mangoes? I don't remember, but that sounds right.  She tested a bit with the mangoes, but completed the meal and I didn't have too much trouble overall.  Dinner, however, was AWFUL.  I gave her beef stew, apricots, and green beans.  Well, apparently, green beans are now evil.  Which I don't understand because she hasn't given me trouble about green beans at all since we started the clinic, I don't think.  Anyway, her dad wasn't home, and it took all her aunt and I could do to block her and hold the bite to her lips.  She was ridiculous.  She was spitting at me, pushing the bites out with her tongue if I tried to slip them in, laughing at me, crying, etc.  All over green beans!  She took maybe one or two bites before starting this ridiculousness.  I forgot to mention she threw the cup across the room first, and thankfully it landed face up.  I was SO mad at her.  I still don't understand what her problem was.  Anyway, I got one bite in her amid the ridiculousness, and then I held the second bite to her lips as we hit the time cap.  ARGH!!!!!!  It sure would be nice if she'd have given me the memo so I could have at least prepared myself emotionally for a standoff.  I e-mailed her therapist and told her what happened after the meal was over and am waiting to hear back.  The little booger, after the standoff was over, had the nerve to ask me for spaghetti-o's.  I told her no, and resisted the urge to tell her exactly why she wasn't getting them (totally against the rules).

Today has been better overall, but she's still not where she was.  Breakfast began with her crying.  Great.  She wanted to waltz into the kitchen and have a pudding and a yogurt before breakfast.  I said no because I'd just fixed her breakfast.  Yogurt was one of her foods anyway (part of the cup), so I ignored the complaining because there's just no talking to her when she acts like this.  Anyway, she didn't even want to choose her video so I chose for her.  Stinker.  I gave her the plate and she wanted to complain.  I had to do hand-over-hand to get her to take the first bite.  When she realized she couldn't whine her way out of the meal, she actually did fine.  She asked for pudding and yogurt after the meal, and I let her finish the cup of yogurt and then gave her a pudding.  I don't mind letting her have more food if she's able to complete her meal.  She just doesn't get extra preferred stuff if she holds out on refusal.

Dinner was okay.  She fought green beans again, but not hard.  She took a big bite of them initially and gagged on them.  She seems to not be chewing her bites as often, so when I got her to take bites, I praised any kind of chewing I saw.  I also reminded her to move her food in her mouth and encouraged her to get her food down if she gagged on anything.  She gagged on one other bite, but it was sweet potatoes.  I was pleased to see more chewing in this meal.  It's really been bothering me to see her abandoning this whole chewing idea.

On a brighter note, I had a great time with my mommy friends this morning.  We went to a nearby park because it was GORGEOUS out today.  It's by a mall with a great pizza place, so we headed to the pizza place afterward.  Believe it or not, all the kids were well-behaved.  Sean and another little guy his age were a bit silly, but that was about it.  There were a LOT of babies, and none of them cried, I don't think.  It was amazing.  It was so nice to see everyone and spend time with everyone.  Sean was tired on the way home, but didn't nap, despite my efforts.  I was disappointed.

Anyway, two more weeks of hockey left.  The last practice where it's my turn is tomorrow, so it's nearly time for me to turn in.  6 am comes awfully early!

A so-so day for us

Well, it's been an interesting day here.

Sarah did well at breakfast.  I gave her oatmeal, pears, and peaches.  No issues with any of it.  I got her on the bus, got her brother fed his breakfast, and was hanging out watching TV with Sean when the phone rang.  It was KKI's billing department telling me I'd have to self-pay for outpatient follow-ups.  Ugh.  I was able to get a hold of Sarah's case manager right away and the situation is resolved, thankfully.  Good thing because she needs the extra help and we don't have the cash laying around to pay out of pocket!  I also updated him on how Sarah's doing and was assured that what she's doing is normal.  He was glad to hear she's eating better for me now.

Sean and I had fun this morning.  He was playing Nickelodeon Dance on the Wii (think Just Dance, but with Nick Jr characters like Dora, Diego, Backyardigans, and the Fresh Beat Band).  He had a blast, and it was so cute.

I took Sean to speech where he did well, but was a bit distracted and complained of being tired.  He actually took a good nap for me when we got home.  Yay!

Cute story on the Sean front.  He and Sarah have been on this kick where they watch Wonder Pets.  A lot.  He had this toy phone with him in the car on the way to speech, and he said it was Linny on the phone (the guinea pig in the show).  I asked him if there was an animal in trouble, and he said yes.  I asked him what animal, and he said "Bootsie!" (our cat).  Too cute and what an imagination!

Anyway, Sarah got home from school, had a snack, and was generally fine.  She tested me a bit at dinner, but learned quickly that I wasn't giving in.  She didn't want mangoes too much, but realized she had to eat them.  She managed fine, but she was being a booger.  She pulled a similar stunt with apricots, but got over it.

I brought home free ices from Rita's since it was their annual First Day of Spring promotion.  Sarah took one bite of her ice and decided she didn't like it, which was fine.  Sean loved his and was visibly and loudly enjoying himself.  It was really cute.  All of a sudden, she walked over to Sean, grabbed his ice, and threw it across the room.  She threw it so hard it made a huge mess.  It even hit the ceiling!  I was furious, especially because on top of the obvious meanness to her brother, I'd spent over an hour scrubbing the kitchen today!!!

I'm working on a new YouTube video to share our success story and thank everyone from the people who worked with Sarah directly to our lawyer who got us the coverage to the people who supported us and followed our journey.

First Monday, post-discharge

So, I made some changes here and they seem to be helping.  Either that, or Sarah has given up the fight.  I don't know.  I ran the pears through a food processor because I couldn't get them small enough with a fork.  Breakfast was oatmeal (maple and brown sugar, a familiar flavor), pears, and yogurt.  She began to devour the yogurt before I could start her video and go over the rules.  I guess she was hungry.  Anyway, I started her video and after she was done her yogurt, she went for the pears.  I was shocked, considering she's been fighting pears so much.  She ate them beautifully without fussing, spitting, gagging, crying, or any other negative behavior.  I was very pleasantly surprised.  After she was done her meal, I let her finish the yogurt (it was a 6-oz cup of regular yogurt, and the cup I used to serve it was 4 oz).  Then I packed her lunch and put Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Meatballs in it instead of Spaghetti-o's like I've been doing.  I asked Sarah if she liked this idea, and she said yes.  I fork-mashed the meatballs and cut the noodles small and placed them in her thermos.  I also packed strawberry applesauce, yogurt (regular, not kids'), and pudding.  I e-mailed her teacher to let her know of the change and ask her to have her staff just praise her for eating it, watch her for choking (unlikely it would happen or I wouldn't have sent it), and not to comment if she refused to eat it.  Thankfully, it wasn't a problem and all that came back home was an empty thermos.

At dinner at home, she did great.  She actually brought me a can of beefaroni and asked for it for dinner.  Very interesting.  So, obviously I went for it.  I gave her beefaroni for dinner, as well as peaches that had gone through a food processor, and sweet potatoes.  She did great with all of it, although she was apprehensive about the sweet potatoes.  She looked like she was about to refuse them after the first or second bite, but she got them down.  It took extra prompting to get her to take her bites, but she didn't have any negative behaviors.  I was so proud of her.

The crazy thing is Sarah begged for cucumbers afterward!  Daddy diced up a cucumber and gave her some and she ate a fair amount of it with ranch dressing.  It was really cool.  She also asked for pretzel sticks, although she only ate maybe half of one.  I suspect she may have been tired of chewing at that point.  It was funny, though, she kept hollering at her father whenever he grabbed one.  She'd say "That's mine!"  Who knew Sarah of all people would decide she wants pretzel sticks and that they're hers?

Here's hoping this continues and Sarah has this crazy refusal out of her system.

Oh, and on a similar note, we are going to Applebee's with Grandma, Grandpa John, and Great Grandma for Easter lunch.  I spotted Kraft macaroni and cheese on their kids' menu.  I know she's had it before at OT.  I am going to wait a little longer to see how things go here.  We're supposed to wait two weeks before trying a new food.  I'm going to give it a shot when our two weeks are up as long as Sarah is behaving herself in general otherwise.  Hopefully she'll eat it okay as she seemed to like it at OT.  Gosh, if she eats that, it means I can order her stuff at a restaurant from the menu.  Wow!  I've never been able to do that for her.  Cross your fingers that she likes the mac and cheese.  I initially told the clinic no because we don't eat mac and cheese in general, but now I kind of wish I'd agreed to it because it is so readily available on kids' menus.

Here is a video her Dad took of her at hockey this past Saturday.  She's actually skating by herself in parts of it.  Go Sarah!

Post-Discharge, Weekend 1

Oh, boy.  It sure has been an interesting few days home.

Thursday, Sarah was great. She came home from school happy, had a nice welcome home card made by her classmates, and was fine for dinner.

Friday was a different story.  She was NOT impressed by breakfast.  It was cream of wheat (new flavor, I should know better than to do that the second day home, DUH), grits, apricots, and pears.  She looked at the breakfast like "I don't want any of it."  I knew we were in for it.  So, it was a disaster.  She ate the apricots begrudgingly, the pears required Daddy to help block, and she ate the first bite of cream of wheat and spit it out.  I realized during the pears standoff, the cream of wheat had gotten cold and thick.  I added hot water to thin it out, but the damage was done.  Sarah wasn't having any more of it.  None.  We managed to get the second bite of it in her as the time cap hit. She even vomited twice during the meal, and she only vomited once during one meal (twice during speech sessions) at KKI. Sarah was upset, we were upset, and it was generally a crappy meal.  I still had to get her dressed and on the bus, and she was teary while waiting for the bus.  It sucked.  Anyway, she even told me she was angry, and I couldn't blame her.  We're not to talk about meals that go badly or ask her why she engages in any inappropriate behavior, so I ignored the comments.  I just showed her what I was packing for lunch and moved on.  I e-mailed her therapist to discuss what happened.  She said it was a combo of the new food and her testing us.  Sarah has likely figured out that feeding school is over and she wants to see if she still has to eat the new way.  I'm trying really hard to show her that she has to eat what we give her and follow the rules, but she's been pushing back pretty hard for most meals.

Dinner went better, but was more preferred food.  I think we gave her ravioli, carrots, and green beans, but I may be remembering wrong.  I don't know.  My brain is really foggy.  We loaded her with praise for eating so well and all by herself and all of that, so hopefully this whole rule-following thing is sinking in.

Saturday morning was Daddy's turn for hockey, and he went easy for breakfast for the sake of getting her out the door on time and not waking Mommy up.  It also helps to not have her agitated before practice.  She had oatmeal, pudding, and yogurt, and was fine, of course.  Lunch was ravioli, generic beefaroni, apricots (I think), and flavored applesauce.  She didn't like the generic beefaroni too much, but that's another DUH on my part. If it's not the same brand, it might taste different.  She actually did okay as the meal went on, but I bought the brand name today so I don't have that problem again.  I'm just not counting on her willingness to try new foods right now.  Dinner was okay.  It was ravioli, peaches, and carrots.  She was fine for everything except the peaches.  Again, I'm puzzled because she loves peaches.  I had to feed them to her because she wouldn't take independent bites.  I really don't know what her problem is, but my current theory is maybe the peaches we bought are packed differently than the ones KKI uses.  I have been buying her fruit in light syrup, and I'm wondering if maybe KKI uses fruits packed in juice or heavy syrup.  I have been giving her apricots packed in heavy syrup, so maybe that's it.  I bought fruit packed in juice this time, so we're going to try that.

For breakfast today, she had peaches and pears with her oatmeal (all separate, not in the same bowl).  She needed to be blocked for the peaches and pears, and it sucked.  We didn't meet the time cap, but there was spitting, gagging, and crying.  I do think I didn't mash the peaches or pears well enough, so I'm going to run them through the blender tonight to see if I can get them smaller.

Lunch was fed by Dad when I was out food shopping.  He fed her ravioli, carrots, and corn.  He didn't realize she hasn't had corn at a higher texture yet.  Oops.  I should have told him.  She ate about 3/4 of the corn and then freaked out and needed to be blocked.  We got through the meal, but were within about five minutes of the time cap.  It wasn't fun.  I am not too worried about that meal with it being a new food, but I don't get how she could eat 3/4 of it and then refuse.  That seems weird to me.

Dinner was fed by me and she did okay.  She had beef stew, green beans, and sweet potatoes.  She refused the sweet potatoes and spit out the first bite.  I don't get it.  She loves sweet potatoes, so why is she throwing a fit now? I had to go to non-self feeder for the rest of the sweet potatoes, and I don't like that.  It's not that I have a major issue feeding her, but it is a step back and it's not a food that should be difficult for her.

I e-mailed her therapist again (actually several times this weekend, I bet she's going to be annoyed when she gets those) because I'm just stumped.  I figured she'd be a booger and test me, but this is a lot for her.  I really can't have her slipping back into old habits and I'm sure as heck not going back to Gerber.  She can do this, and she has got to get into her head that we went to feeding school to learn a new way to eat.  This wasn't a weird thing we did for eight weeks.  This is the new way.  I don't know if she's stubborn, or forgetting what to do with food, or what.

On a brighter note, we gave her some diced cucumbers and ranch dressing to practice eating while we had dinner and she ate them.  I never thought I'd see the day.  She's also voluntarily eating pretzel sticks, although we do have to watch her with those.  She's pretty good about doing oral motor exercises, and generally not arguing much with us about them.

We'll see what her therapist says about the bazillion e-mails I sent her this weekend.  I don't feel comfortable even sending any different foods to school or the protocol.  I think we need more consistency at home before we try taking this to school.

Oh, and Sarah had an awesome hockey practice.  I'll try to get the video Dad took on YouTube and post a link shortly.  She is starting to skate by herself a little and it's fun to watch.